May 19, 2010 |

I Believe I Missed The Memo.....

   I must have missed the memo that came out the day I became a slave to my children.....I am a little pissed about it.   It must have been in that giant pile of laundry, or maybe at the bottom of the sink full of dishes, or worse yet, inside the fetid remains of a cottony soft diaper.
   I used to think I would never bow down to the whims of a man, never mind the tantrum prone will of a toddler, and boo hoo for me...here I am. I've made my bed, I accept that.
   Long gone are the days of girlfriends and martini's.  Long gone are the days of smooth skin ( hello cottage cheese ass and stretch marks ).  Gone are the days of working 9-5 and sleeping in on the weekends.  Gone are the days of showering when I please, getting my hair cut, or getting my nails done.  I assure you that at one point in my life I would not have left the house with greasy hair and sweat pants ( which happens way more often then I would like to admit).  I am an educated, intelligent woman, I have lived a little, survived a lot, and am a better person for it.
   This being the case, why do I do laundry daily, clean the house incessantly, have dinner on the table when the Hubs gets home from work, and live out of a mini van??
   When did giving birth mean you gave up the right to do anything else with your life?  How on earth did I become this woman??  Please don't misunderstand.  I love my husband and enjoy being married, and I am so ridiculously smitten with my children that I would throw myself in front of a bus one thousand times over to keep them safe.  As crazy as they are, and as crazy as they make me feel.  Love is not even close to describing what I feel for them.
   I was sure that by the time I was 30 that I would have done so much more with my life then become a 50's house wife. 
   Why did I give up everything I wanted to cater to everyone else?  I became that girl I never used to like.  The one who gave up her friends because they didn't mix well with the husbands friends, the one who is supportive of everything her husband wants to do, regardless of its nonsense factor.  Who has never spent more then a couple hours away from her kids, and only because she has to go to work or grocery shop.  June Cleaver I am not.  Disrespectful of my own mind and capabilities, very much so. 
   Somewhere a switch has been flipped, I suspect there are more to come.  Fear not mind, you have been kick started, we'll all be seeing you again soon
   I guess I secretly have a lot going on, maybe I shouldn't be secretive about the things I want to do, but I have my reasons. Hopefully one day I will be as fervently supported by all the people in my life that I choose to support.
   You will see my name in print, here's your 10 second warning.  It's coming, and it will be awesome.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

i hope to see your name in print very soon! lots of love
Sara (your amazing niece)

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